I am a Citibiker. I am a Pedestrian. Once upon a time, I considered myself a cyclist, a term I reserve for those who own their own bikes, and use them more for fitness or competition than transportation. But then my precious bike got stolen....a beloved candy-red Peugeot I had since junior high, nicked right out of the basement of my own apartment building in which I had lived for nearly a decade. But alas, that is another story.

This story didn’t start on the day I hit a woman (her name was Julie) on her bike–my victim was riding one of those little compact foldable bikes that hardly seems adequate for a full-sized human. But she was relatively compact herself, and on my solid, indestructible Citibike, I took her down full force, even as I tried in vain to brake and avoid her. She went down pretty hard, having veered left in front of me with zero forewarning nor a glance to insure there was no oncoming traffic. She admitted effusively it was totally her fault, and it was, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. I docked my Citibike and went back to help her limp her way to a–fortunately–nearby urgent care clinic, as she really could barely walk. It was thankfully only a block away, but with a lot of resting and trying to support her weight as best I could while rolling her bike along in tow, we finally reached it, they whisked her away in a wheelchair and despite leaving her my contact infomation, that was the last I heard of her.

This is not an isolated incident. I ride a Citibike almost every day, and while one would think cars would appreciate my contribution to reducing their traffic congestion, this does not seem to be the case at all, judging by their aggressive behavior. They are like big, overgrown bullies who have been held back a grade or two, threatening the innocuous kid at recess that is just trying to play on the playground. Thus, I ride my Citibike as if I were in a live-action video game. All my attentions are on the game at hand, my goal singularly to arrive at my destination unscathed (or at least alive) and to do no harm to anyone in my path. This is not always possible (as outlined above), and more often than not, it is the pedestrians that are most antagonistic again us.

And I get it: I have been one of them. Bikes often disobey the rules... but so do pedestrians. Tell me you have never jaywalked. I ring my bell, I call out “WATCH!” or “heads up!” which is often countered with “YOU watch!” But, well...I saw you, so...that is how I was able to call out a preventative alert. You, on the other hand, walking across the avenue midblock, had your head in your phone and were completely oblivious. And no, it doesn’t matter that there was a red light forty feet ahead; I was nowhere near the intersection.

Regardless, did not your mother instruct you to look both ways before crossing the street? When on my bike, I look all ways...this, that and the other way. I have eyes in the back of my head, eyes out my elbows, eyes everywhere I can swivel my body to displace them so that I can be as aware as humanly possible of my surroundings in as many dimensions as possible. This I cannot say for most pedestrians, or (unfortunately) many other bikers either.

Nor cars. And cars, of all entities, should be the most appreciative of Citibikers’ contribution to decreasing their numbers. The more bikes, the fewer clogged avenues and traffic snarls. But drivers instead seem to morph super-aggro, sandwiching bikers unnecessarily or honking excessively post facto, in a sort of lame, pointless, punitive attempt. But like pedestrians, I know the irritation is somewhat projected, since drivers have encountered reckless and myopic cyclists, not heeding any rules nor conscientious of their surroundings. Any biker talking on their phone or wearing headphones should be fined, although no one is really out there to do it.

And the rules? What even are they? Are e-bikes bikes? (I don’t think so.). Motorcycles? (Ditto). Hoverboards, scooters, roller bladers, electric wheelchairs? I say if it has a motor, you don’t belong in the bike lane. E-bikes are the most egregious, silently sneaking up on real bikes, too close and at speeds making avoidance sometimes impossible. And tons of them (delivery people, mostly) are not using proper lights and reflectors for night riding, or this new trend of twinks riding side saddle (what is up with THAT?) exacerbating the situation.

Europeans have been way ahead of Americans in utilizing bikes to get around. And most would never dream of running a stop sign or ignoring a red light. But alas, that is often the norm in the good ol USA.

SO. What to do? First of all, the city needs to make clear and obvious who belongs in the bike lanes and who doesn’t. All bikes should be required to have lights (front AND back) and reflectors when ridden at the onset of dusk. I personally wouldn’t mind if scooters and e-bikes were banned, but since that probably isn’t going to happen, delineations need to be specified for who goes where. And seriously, people. Just keep your head up and your eyes out. So much conflict on all sides could be avoided by just being conscientious of your surroundings. And while I still keep my eye out for Julie every time I pass where our collision took place, only when I am walking. When I’m on a bike, it’s eyes on the prize. Because I am a Citibiker. I am also at times a pedestrian. But most of all, I’m a New Yorker. And I don’t want to hit you any less than you don’t want to be hit.